Day 243, Uhhh, 265..Day I'm Not Even Sure Anymore

Apparently I am a week late, actually a full ten days after my 'due date'. I began this blog on May 4th, 2010. And from the beginning I noticed that the process of going from frozen pizza to kale has felt like a pregnancy. In pregnancy you conceive your child and spend your first trimester thinking how weird it is being pregnant. You aren't really a mother yet, but you are preparing. You think about what kind of mommy you want to be, how much you are willing to change your life. Will you quit your job and stay home? Will you hire a nanny or look at daycares? Or will you only consider that one family member who you trust? You are forced to make some changes, you can't drink, you are so tired that you can't stay up late. But to the outside world you are little different.

My first three months writing this blog were much the same. I made some big changes. I promised to stop buying meat in the grocery store, only from my CSA. I also said no more pre made dinners like frozen pizza. And every product purchased from the grocery store had to be put under a bright spotlight. I eliminated whole product categories, got rid of maltodextrin, high fructose corn syrup, TBHQ, xanthan gum, cellulose gum, food dyes, and other highly processed or non food additives. And we pledged to cook every day, no more prepared dinners. And we pledged veggies every day, even for the kids. These were big changes. But at the same time they were the low hanging fruit. We immediately saw an improvement in everyone's occasional constipation. And our cravings for junk subsided.

Your second trimester is a wonderful time. You aren't sick anymore and you are starting to show. You look cute, you have gained a little weight but you don't feel so ridiculously fat yet. You start to wear maternity clothes and it gets fun! You can start telling people your big news! The baby starts to kick and things to start to feel real. The second trimester of our blog project was also equally as sweet. I discovered the Real Food movement. Here were a group of people who had successfully balanced a non processed diet, but embraced fats and meat which the dietitian crowd always want you to believe will send you straight to food hell. This felt like what I was supposed to be eating, more raw foods, soaked beans and grains, non-industrial meats and fermented vegetables.

I had independently come to the conclusion that fat wasn't my problem. I had lost weight after Thing 1 was born and I was eating MORE fat than when I was chubby. The ideology of the Real and Traditional Food people jived with what I was experiencing in my own body. And I believe that they have their science right. Fat isn't the problem, carbs aren't the problem, meat isn't even the problem. It is the junk. It is the empty calories, devoid of real nutrition. The only problem? There is alot more nutritionally devoid food out there than I first thought. Exploring Real Food in the second trimester of writing my blog was fun. The ideas were new, I had never fermented vegetables before! It was delicious and the reading was paradigm shifting. I read that fat, especially butter and coconut oil were good for you! I read that grains had natural proteins in them that inhibit digestion but that sprouting grains changes their chemical structure. I read about polyunsaturated oils, and the theory that high heat oxidates the oil molecule, essentially converting them to trans fat. These were BIG ideas, game changers. My second trimester was truly life altering.

I have born two children, so I know how difficult the third trimester can be. The third trimester feels as long as the first two combined. You are so swollen and fat (and I am NOT interested in hearing about how good you looked all through your pregnancies, give me your fat sweaty girls who couldn't wear their rings for the last 6 weeks-that was me), your body aches from all the extra weight. You can't sleep, you can hardly eat anymore. It is kind of miserable. But at the same time it is very exciting, it is the trimester of baby showers and buying baby clothes and strollers. Furniture is procured and rooms are decorated. There are really sweet moments in preparation for this very real baby that will arrive shortly. The third trimester is a time of up and down emotions.

I thought for sure that my experience writing this blog in months 6-9 would not mirror pregnancy quite as closely as the first sic months. I figured the metaphor would only go so far. But I was wrong. The last three months have indeed been like a third trimester. I have thought deeper about the political implications about food. I have fallen into a rut of preparing the same dinners over and over again. There have been days where this blog felt like a burden when it was added on top of my job and family. There were times I didn't want to write, there were times I really wanted to eat McDonald's. Yup that's right, sticking to my rules were not always so easy. Salt and sugar are powerful adversaries But I did it. I walked by McDonald's and I posted 5 days a week. I did it because I wanted to stick to it. I did it out of sheer stubbornness. And I made it through my third trimester.

Today I am giving birth, in a way. I am not stopping this blog. I have found far too much joy in writing it and I have made too many new friends to walk away now. I have mentioned that my goal was to write a book in 2011. Well last week I finished the first draft of my book proposal. But I have lots more work to do. The proposal needs to be rewritten, and Ha, I need to actually write! There is such a thing as a fourth trimester. I firmly believe that the first three months of a baby's life is the true fourth trimester. A baby does little if any interaction in the first three months. But marvelously around three months of age a baby wakes up and begins to act a little more like a baby!

I am planning on writing my book in the coming three months. I still plan on posting, but maybe two or three times a week instead of five or six times a week. Is that okay? I feel like not posting everyday would be a total let down to all you fabulous people who read me every day! I have visions of better posts with more pictures, quality rather than quantity. But mostly I really want to make time to write a book. And I want to say, I have no idea that anyone will ever want to read it, much less publish it. So my efforts on this project are all for myself. Writing a book is something I have always wanted to do before I die. So if I can do that, I am not sure if I care if it ever goes anywhere, though that would be a huge coup. But hopefully YOU will want to read it.

And don't forget!! We need to plan our march on Washington! Oh What? You think I forgot??? No chance. I am thinking November 2012.....

So that is how I am giving birth today.