My Kids (and I) Ruin Everything

My weekend sort of unofficially started Thursday evening. DH and I made dinner which NO ONE wanted to eat. The screamed, they fussed. They got up out of their chairs and ran around. Thing 1 had one time out that lasted for at least ten minutes because he insisted on leaving the corner, only to make us start the time out over. Thing 2 didn’t actually eat anything, which I wish I could say was a rarity. I joke now that he eats breakfast, morning snack, afternoon snack and nothing else. I suppose that is three meals, no? Since Thing 1 did eat dinner, so he had some kefir ice cream after dinner. But Thing 2 did not. Thing 2 went ballistic. This loveliness was followed by a bath in which there was hitting and water dumping. I was completely wet, which was enough to make me fly off the handle. Sweet huh?

Then at 8pm, just as the kids are getting settled into their beds, I realize I have forgotten a very important Skype date with my family. Like plum forgotten. I got the kids out of bed and we managed to work in a quick speakerphone phone call. I felt so guilty. Terrible in fact, I cried about it.

Around 3:45am, Thing 1 came into our bed. He was completely naked, holding a fresh set of new clothes. I wasn’t actually surprised. I had run out of overnight diapers and we had had a tremendous battle over a stupid glass of water the night before. His bed was soaked, he had no where else to sleep. He moved into our bed. Thing 1 punched me, he kicked me, he ended up sleeping sideways on our bed with his feet resting in my armpits and his head in DH’s back. He finally fell asleep at 4:50am. Which happened to be 10 minutes before my alarm went off. I never had gone back to sleep. I had made plans to meet a girlfriend early for a run in the park. If I hadn’t made plans to run with her I would have totally scaled exercise that morning.

While the kids were okay Saturday behavior-wise, we were out running errands in the morning when I texted a good friend about her son’s birthday party that day. “Where and when again?” I asked her. I didn’t receive a reply. Around one with the kids either asleep or out with Daddy I brought up the evite to be sure of what time the party was. OMG. The party was at 9am. We missed our friend’s son’s 4th birthday party? What kind of lousy mom misses something like that? It was treasonous.

Sunday started out overnight again, with Thing 1 coming into our bed at 1am, naked but this time holding no clothes. He had an overnight diaper by this point, so I am not sure how this all happened. But there he was again, kicking and punching us. DH and I were not happy. But I think that made it all the more stressful for Thing 1, because with his wet bed he didn’t really have any other place to sleep. I *almost* went and slept on the couch. But I didn’t. I should have, I felt wretched in the morning. And Thing 2 awoke at 5:15am in his crib to see his big brother gone. He assumed that he had overslept and everyone else must be up. He would not go back to sleep.

Sunday morning started well enough, a little sleep deprived, but nothing a little coffee couldn’t fix. But the day really started turning south when at my mother in law’s house Thing 1 tripped on her fan and broke it. He didn’t mean to trip on the fan, but it wasn’t a complete accident either. We went to 4 stores to find one that was suitable to replace it. And finally, Thing 1 refused to go up to my MIL’s apartment and give her the new fan. Let’s just say he didn’t win that fight.
Later in the afternoon we met my brother in law and his kids at the local pool, the Things had a blast. Only Thing 1 started choking on some pool water he swallowed and he threw up in the pool. DH swears that other parents picked up their tots and ran for cover. They closed the pool for 30 minutes.

Then when we came home, a full 5 hours after the original schedule, there were more hysterics, more punch-up drenching baths and maybe a hot dog or two was consumed. Currently I am running 5 loads of wash downstairs in our laundry room, much of which is soaked in toddler urine. So when I sat down to write something for the blog today, I just couldn’t write about finding chamomile at the farmer’s market (you know how to brew a cup of tea). I couldn’t produce a post about how it is sour cherry season or brag that I bought 3.5 pounds of them this weekend, pitted them and froze them. And I couldn’t post about the summer squash, kale and snow peas I sautéed in tomato basil sauce and served with pasta. I am way too tired. I feel completely overwhelmed right now. Overwhelmed by the sleep deprivation, overwhelmed by cramming a work week into three days, overwhelmed by housecleaning, overwhelmed by carrying my kids EVERYWHERE because they refuse to walk. No, writing about sweet, pretty food topics just didn’t seem right. My heart wasn’t in it. It just wasn’t….funny enough.