Whole Wheat Cheese Crackers

After Thing 1 was born, I didn’t know how to cook. It wasn’t that I forgot, I just was physically incapable of bringing a meal together. The act of leaving the room would bring on screams of pain from my teeny baby, and given that there was maybe 45-50 minutes in between each painful nursing session, what was I going to make? A sandwich? I basically sustained myself with Cheezits during this early point in motherhood. I would just eat as many as I could while nursing. I was mostly careful not to drop the crumbs on his head though.

I have not purchased Cheezits since I started this blog. And while I am not super strict with food away from home (since it is limited anyway with all my packed lunches); I have also not met up with a Cheezit since I started the blog either. But I miss them. I still see the boxes in that aisle of the grocery store that I no longer shop in. My grocery store keeps organics in a different place, but for some reason the keep organic canned tomatoes with their conventional brethren. And this just happens to be the aisle where the Cheezits are. And seeing them is like running into an old boyfriend. You know there used to be something between you, but you just keep your head down as you walk past hoping that you get away without a conversation.

I also have issues with the fishy crackers. I used to buy them all the time; but between the food dyes and all the chemical preservatives and the ridiculous amount of salt, that is another food that has not been purchased by me since I began this blog. Though for sure, people have given them to my kids. Well meaning parents will share on the playground. And the school Thing 1 attends for a couple hours a day gives them as a snack. I am sure he stuffs his face, knowing he must take advantage while he can since his mean old mom won’t buy them.

Then last week a friend posted this link from the Smitten Kitchen on my Facebook wall. Thanks sooooo much for sharing! The entry was a recipe for homemade whole wheat goldfish crackers. I was too intrigued. And the recipe, adapted originally from The Lee Brothers Cookbook, was stupid easy. And I like stupid easy. The author asked if someone would make the recipe using only whole wheat flour as she did not. I figured that was pretty much an engraved invitation to copy her and write this whole post. So here it goes:

Whole Wheat Cheese Crackers
6 Ounces shredded cheddar cheese (She recommends orange cheese, I do not-it might be colored with food dyes, just skip the orange stuff and stick with white. And I do think that raw milk cheese is worth it. Also--grate it yourself, pre-grated cheeses are loaded with weird ingredients and anti-caking agents)
4 tablespoons of butter
¾ cup of whole wheat flour (I used whole wheat pastry flour because that’s what I had)
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon onion powder

In a food processor, combine all ingredients until the mix forms a ball. The dough should be pliable, but not too soft. Keep some extra flour on your surface for keeping the dough dry. Roll out dough to 1/8 of an inch thick. Cut out shapes and bake them with a little room in between each cracker. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes. Makes about 2 dozen small cookie sized crackers. Like my super old antique cookie cutters? I have been carting these around from house to house ever since my mom passed. They had to be my grandmothers!

This recipe is PHENOMENAL. But don’t kid yourself. These are not really crackers. They are really like eating a buttery piece of cheese paradise. The flour simply acts in holding all the cheese and butter together. They taste waaaaaaay better than fishy crackers and they taste real, unlike Cheezits. So I would say these are improved Cheezits. But I warn you. You can eat the entire batch. You will not notice how quickly they will go. I plan on telling the baby sitter that there is a strict 3 cracker rule. Because the kids would gorge themselves on these!

This is maybe the best recipe I have made in 6 months. It is an instant staple. I will likely make this for every party I throw from now on. They are ridiculous. Sorry to the gluten free and lactose free crowd. I should have apologized in advance. But if someone wanted to try these out with rice flour would you let me know? Shoot me an email or tweet at me, or just link me up to a blog post about it? I bet The Smitten Kitchen would be interested in hearing about it too!

This post is part of Simple Lives Thursday from Sustainable Eats!