Monday, April 23, 2012

Exit Stage Left

There are times in one's life when it is time to talk. And then there are times when one should listen. I have gone through many of both in my years. I have recently gone through a period of talking, and now my intuition tells me it is time to listen.

When I started this blog nearly two years ago, I was moved to write about food and my family, health and how I was trying to find it. But most of all, I was itching to say something, to write. When I posted every day for almost a year, it was never a chore. Though people asked how I managed to find time to get everything done! I was burning to communicate and I was excited about the possibility of reaching out into the ether and finding people just like me. And the things I have learned???!!! I feel more confident in my food choices now than ever before in my life. At first that confidence came from discovering and choosing local foods. Then it came as I chose nutrient dense foods. Then from making much of my food from scratch. Now, ironically, that confidence includes rejecting strict dogma. I know what I am supposed to be eating, but if I choose to eat a little junk or sugar, I know that one food sin does not negate an entire diet of healthy foods. This, my friends, is my definition of a healthy relationship with food. And finally, I have got one.

But what you didn't know from reading my posts every day, was that in the last two years, my life was going through a transition of sorts. With my second child born I began to look at my life and ask questions like 'Will I have a third child or are we done?' 'What are my long term career goals?' 'Am I really good at my job or just average?' 'At what point do I abandon the stability of a position where I have been moderately successful to possibly strive for more?'

Having children puts your life on hold no matter what you try to do. While I never chose the stay at home mom route, I put my life on hold by not aggressively looking for promotions and new job opportunities. I decided instead to stay in a stable job, that I loved, that offered the right schedule. I thought I would try to learn the nuances of my business and role to keep myself busy. But at a certain point, I suppose one could say that I was not challenged enough. That is why I turned to blogging.

Blogging brought me a kind of mental activity that gave me energy to get through the more routine parts of my day. It was a true hobby, an avocation. One that I have cherished and loved. And it was good that I had such a hobby to keep my mind active, because my stable, 'not that challenging' job wasn't over. I have been presented with challenges in the last year that have refined me and my contributions to my company. If I had thrown in the towel and looked for a different job two years ago my life would be on a much different path.

However a few weeks ago, the winds that guide my life shifted. And I am being pushed to something new and different. Last month while I wasn't writing on this blog, I quit my job and made arrangements to begin an exciting new adventure. And here we are, after nearly eight and a half years in my job.

This week, I will start a new job for the first time since I got married, bought a house and had kids. It feels dramatic and significant to me, though I know it is just my career. The reason I am telling you all of this is that I feel that it is time for me to end my blog. Writing has been taking so much out of me recently, hence the lack of posts. And my new opportunity proves to test me in ways I can't imagine. I am truly jumping into the fire. Of course, newness has a way of fading, and I have only ever promised to be inconsistent at best. So perhaps in 6 months I will be back slinging my ranting opinions of fast food companies and giant food conglomerates. Perhaps in a couple of months I can get back in the kitchen to cook something other than the turkey sausage I get at the farmer's market. All this transition and excitement has made me a boring menu planner.

I can't thank my wonderful readers enough. You all constantly amaze me just that you read my words when you have no idea who I am. This blog has given me a voice. And that was all I ever really wanted from it.

Until next time my friends...