The Epic Battle for Ultimate Control: Age Three

Tiger Mom has ignited a heated battle in American parenting. I have discussed Tiger Mom with many of my colleagues, my friends, and even my Chinese American boss-who incidentally was raised in the very same manner. I have even dropped some pretty long and anonymous comments on a blog that came down hard on Tiger Mom. And while I do think that Tiger Mom goes too far in pursuit of her own narrow view of successful children, there is something to her. She has a discipline that most do not. And her nonacceptance of permissive Western parenting methods is probably finding more support than she suspected. On one hand Chua says and does hateful things in the name of motivating her children. On the other hand I am an old fashioned parent, I am in charge, expect to be obeyed and will accept no alteration to that model. But I am internally conflicted about it, because it is so much harder than it seems.

I am stuck in a parenting rut. And we are experiencing some major behavioral problems. It is official, I hate age three more than age two. My three year old is showing to me my own character flaws. And I can't decide what I dislike worse, the out of control behavior, the yelling or the fact that I am not in control in my own home.

I am a yeller. I always have been. I was born yelling and I continued to be a screamer throughout childhood. I have been told to shut up more times than I can remember. And even at work an 'area of development' on my yearly review has been to speak more quietly. My biggest problem is just that I have a really loud voice. My breath is connected to my voice all the way down to my toes and I can project my speech across a full crowded theatre. I am not bragging, it is just fact. Add to that several years of acting and speech training to actually exploit and develop this characteristic and you can see I am in a bind. I am an adult working in a quiet office cubicle setting with a set of pipes that has been trained for a three tiered full house.

But back to parenting, my lungs help in making me a force to be reckoned with in my house. I generally yell at Thing 1. You might think that I don't yell at Thing 2 because he is too little. And that might be part of it. But mostly I don't need to yell at Thing 2, he does what he is asked. He cleans up at clean up time. He eats his dinner. He plays with toys the way they were intended to be played with. Plus Thing 2 doesn't like the yelling. He is a very sensitive soul. Thing 1 on the other hand is wild. We are currently locked in a battle for ultimate control of the house. If I say it is time to clean up, he is running off to his room to climb up and hide in his bunk bed. When he plays with toys he will bend them just to see how far they can bend before they break. Dinner has been getting better, but as I mentioned earlier this week, Sunday night he refused to eat. I am okay with him refusing to eat. He had had a big lunch so I wasn't expecting much. But it was when he decided to launch his glass of milk across the room splashing on the table, floor and his brother that landed him in the corner for a time out. And of course I screamed bloody murder.

The thing about the yelling is that it kind of works. When we brought Thing 2 home from the hospital two days after Thing 1's second birthday. Back then, his behavior was an emotional tornado. But it was him having the fits. I didn't yell so much back then (we did some, just not as much as now). Time outs didn't really work, so we just let him cry until he was done. Three years old is different. He is now screwing with my head. The acting out is far more manipulative. He shouts "I don't love you!". But when I bellow at him it gets him moving. It lets him know I mean business. And don't think I jump to yelling. I ask him 5-6 times to do everything without yelling. Then I begin to raise my voice and count and finally he lands in time out with me yelling And it ALWAYS ends up in time out. In many cases he comes out of time out and I will ask him "are you ready to help clean up?" and he says "no". So we go back in time out again. Repeat questions and answers. After 3-4 time outs he does finally clean up. But the process is exhausting. One time a few weeks ago he simply refused to stay in time out. So every time he would leave I would pick him up and put him back and start the time out over. He cried and fought for 30 minutes straight. I put him back in time out 10-12 times until finally he sat for a consecutive 3 minutes. That's right, you read correctly, three minutes. I am not some crazy control freak who is putting her kids in time out for 30 minutes. He needs to just have one three minute time out.

But strangely enough, after we all end up screaming and maybe shedding a few tears, Thing 1 cooperates and does whatever he is asked. And then he perks up and is happy again. No amount of talking and rationalizing ever did that. I have had level-headed talks with him where I explain that acting out is his choice and that he can choose not to act out. And if he chooses to listen to Mommy and Daddy then he will have a happy day and there will be no fighting. I have explained to him that every time he gets a time out for not cooperating he inevitably ends up doing whatever it was that he was trying to get out of. So next time he should just skip the time out and help sooner. I know this is sophisticated thinking for a three year old, but it might take years for him to make that mental leap, I have to at least start talking about it. I want him to view his actions as his choice. I believe it will help him to live a more purposeful life.

I know I need to stop yelling. Monday morning I ran into my neighbor at the elevator of my building. She could barely look at me. I know she heard the whole row from the evening before. From next door she can hear everything, but she doesn't know that we had a great morning together. She doesn't know that I threw my back out and was in a lot of pain while Thing 1 was acting out. And she doesn't actually know that I don't hit my kids. But hearing all the yelling and screaming, she must feel uncomfortable about it.

My problem is I don't know how to stop yelling. I get so angry, particularly when I am home by myself with the kids. I do not keep things bottled up. On one hand it is a positive thing because I don't store dark emotions. I express myself and move on. Keeping anger bottled up can lead to all kinds of health problems and stress. DH and I fight every so often, and there are no secrets between us. And we always make up. We talk to the Things about it openly. There is no regret and no unspoken hurt, no name calling and no disrespect. But we are passionate people. DH and I have a healthy marriage because we get it all out. On the other hand, I know my anger can alienate people, like my neighbor.

People have told me to just stop yelling. That is so much easier said than done. People have told me to leave the room, give myself a time out. People have also told me to take a different approach, take away toys, dessert, TV. I have. It doesn't work. Thing 1 doesn't care. He doesn't seem to understand the correlation between choosing his actions and having a pleasing or displeasing outcome. And take away everything-it doesn't matter. With the TV off he will just do something else to provoke the drama. He doesn't care. I chalk it up to his age. I figure if we can get through the next 6 months we will be through the worst of it.

That being said, I recently held a family meeting. I can't do this anymore. I can't yell and get so angry any longer. All our behavior has to get better. Thing 1 needs to feed himself, not spill his food on purpose, not throw toys, not push and hit, take off his own coat and shoes and follow simple directions like helping at clean up time. I am NOT asking too much. But he is going to have to do more, and Mommy promises to yell less. So far we are off to a decent (and quiet) start.

I always love your comments, you know I do. But on today's topic I am so scared of what you have to say. I am scared you will think I am a monster who can't control her emotions. I asked a question on Mamapedia about Thing 1 just after his second birthday, and the first commenter suggested I take him to a behaviorist because HER daughter never displayed such barbaric behavior (okay, those were my words, not hers--but she did say that my kid should see a behaviorist and she did say that her daughter never ripped pages out of books or threw food on the ground). I am in the same breath frustrated by Thing 1 and yet fiercely defensive of him, because he is my boy. My child isn't bad, and he doesn't have ADHD. He is three, he is a boy and he is bright. And he chooses to channel all that extra energy into things that get him negative attention. I desperately want to add value to the situation. And I am taking the first step. I am writing about this today because I don't just want to sweep it under the rug.

But this is really, really hard.

Millet and Rice Flour Sugar Cookies

Think back over all the recipes I have posted in the last several months. There are not many desserts, right? I think I have been really realistic about my own sugar addiction (and that of my family) and so I have tried to eliminate sugar, in addition to replacing refined sugar with rapadura, honey or pure maple syrup. Because let's face it. Rapadura might be head and shoulders above refined white sugar, but don't over exaggerate. It is still sugar.

But every now and then you just gotta have a cookie. But I have noticed an alarming trend in my diet: My wheat sensitivity might be getting stronger. I had whole wheat pasta last Monday night and I made homemade pizza Tuesday. Plus I had a half a sandwich each day for lunch(among other veggies, etc) By Wednesday I could not even look at wheat I felt so strung out. I threw out the bread of my office catering sandwich (big meetings last week). I made meat and veggies for dinner. But no grains left me feeling a little hungry. My energy levels are better when I mix some grains in with my protein and veg.

Last month when the issues with Thing 1 began, i thought for sure that his problems stemmed from a wheat intolerance. I never once thought about lactose. So I ran out and bought quinoa pasta, gluten free bread and millet flour and brown rice flour. But the doctor said not to eliminate wheat until we take a thorough look at his current diet and do the blood work up. So we never ate any of it. Now I find myself pulling all these gluten free items out for me, not Thing 1.

And Wednesday when I was pulling meat out of my sandwich to throw away my bread, I wanted to die for a cookie. But I didn't dare. So I looked up gluten free cookie recipes online so i could indulge myself when I got home. And I found this recipe. I added in some millet flour and my beloved vanilla and came up with the below And I gotta say, for a first attempt I think this was really really good. Certainly tasted good.

Rice and Millet Flour Sugar Cookies


1 1/4 cups brown rice flour
1/4 cup millet flour
1 stick (4 oz) of unsalted butter
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup rapadura
1 beaten egg
1/2 tsp of vanilla

Combined flours, soda, baking powder, salt and sugar in a large bowl. Cut in butter in small pats. Work the butter into the dry mix like you would a pie crust. In a small cup beat the egg and vanilla together. Pour the egg in the butter flour mix and combine to form a ball.

Next either make the cookies and chill, or chill the dough first and then make the cookies. I did the former, made to cookies and then put the sheets of tin foil in the fridge for about 20 minutes before baking. Place the chilled cookies in a 350 degree over for 8-12 minutes. I baked mine a little longer. They spread nicely.

The cookies have a very nice flavor and a tender texture. But they weren't perfect, the quest will continue. Their flavor was nice and vanilla-y, just like I like. So I would give flavor an A. The texture was good, almost a little chewy. But very soft since they are gluten free. However either the millet flour or the rice flour itself tasted a little raw and crunchy. You know, like under done rice... Which killed it for me. So Even though they had a chewy-tender thing going on, I would have to give the texture a C+. Okay maybe a B-. I want you to try this. But maybe try them with 1 and a half cups of rice flour and just omit the millet. I was just trying to get fancy because I had already bought the millet flour, and I know that it is high in iron and other nutrients.

All in all I would say they were a success! I really loved having a wheat free treat. And the overall experience of baking them and eating them didn't lack in anyway just because they were wheat free. A fellow gluten sensitive friend at work was shocked when I told her I made them. She said she had never thought of baking with some flour other than wheat. So at least I spread the word today. We all have other options! And of course my dearies remember, wine has always been naturally gluten-free.

The Weekend Retrospective

The reason I do these weekend retrospective is because I have some funny stories about what we are eating. But I am not making a TON of new food these days. We have found some favorites and we are putting them in heavy rotation. But each experience of eating these foods can be enlightening and funny, and sometimes downright ridiculous. Some highlights from this weekend?

* DH picked up a crazy job this week. He didn't see the kids from Wednesday morning until Friday night, which also meant that I was essentially a single parent last week. Okay, that is insulting, I wasn't a single parent. But DH was working 15-18 hour days, and I was left with all the parenting duties in addition to working. Friday night was a blur of reheated pizza, both homemade and the kind I hate to admit I still have in the house. Our babysitter brought the kids to the pizza store (as we call it in our house) on Friday for lunch, but they didn't eat it for lunch. I am normally opposed to serving the same thing for lunch as dinner for the kids. While I might do it for myself on occasion, I think the kids don't do so well with so much repetition. But by Friday night I was stupid tired, so pizza made a double play in my house.

* Saturday morning I slept in (thanks DH!!) But we still made it to the Farmer's Market. I am down to getting turkey, milk, apples, cheese, yogurt, eggs and sometimes honey and bee pollen from the FM. There is so little left at the farmer's market. But I know that if I can just make it through another 8 or so weeks we will start to see spinach an ramps and all the lovely harbingers of spring.

* Thing 1 didn't nap at all this weekend. But he did help me make a batch of granola on Saturday. He tasted everything from the vanilla to the nuts to the flaxseed (which he did not care for). I actually couldn't find old fashioned oats at Fairway this weekend. So I used a combo of last month's old fashioned oats and some quick cooking steel cut oats. I can't wait to try some this week!! It looks totally different!

* Saturday and Sunday got so mixed up. DH was supposed to work Saturday. Then Sunday we were supposed to have friends over. Then DH ended up working Sunday instead and our friends called and said they couldn't do Sunday. So at the last second our friends came over Saturday night. But what a lovely evening. I made Beef Goulash out of a chuck roast that has been hanging out frozen since the last time I ordered meat from the farm. Beef Goulash really is just like my beef stew recipe with a couple tablespoons of paprika added to it. It was really nice. And it goes nicely with whole wheat noodles.

* Sunday DH did actually work and so I took the Things to the NYC Transit museum. If you live here and you have never been, you HAVE to go. And if you have kids. You have to go TOMORROW. It was a really great time. But Brooklyn Heights is practically a food desert. I brought snacks, but I had visions of cute diners or places to grab brunch, so while I packed snacks, I didn't pack a full lunch. Meanwhile, the only places to get food were McDonald's and Wendy's. I almost braved the hour long subway ride home to make something on home turf. But finally I found a place. I will write about that later this week.

* Apparently you can make a decent spaghetti sauce from scratch while using pork 'breakfast' sausage.

* I roasted a whole chicken on Sunday evening. And there was no one home to help me clean up. That was a mistake. Thing 2 ate some chicken minced up and mashed into his potatoes and gravy. The meal was very delicious. Thing 1 wanted only to eat the chicken skin, which is a relatively new development. I told him that I would give him more skin from my breast if he would just eat some meat first. To this he swiped at his plate sending it flying across the table and just to reinforce how yucky he felt my dinner was, he swiped at his glass of milk, sending it flying across the table too. And also all over the floor. *Sigh* This bird was perfectly cooked, golden brown and amazingly delicious. The gravy was immaculately thick and not too salty. Yet Thing 1 ate the skin off one drumstick and Thing 2 at precisely 1 ounce of meat. Oh well. I will have chicken for all my salads this week. And I will make a wicked Chicken soup. Still, it seems like a waste of a perfectly pastured fowl...

* I am pretty sure that I threw my back out Sunday afternoon. I was bouncing Thing 2 on my hip and all of a sudden my back started to feel kind of short. The rest of the evening I continued to struggle with pain. I found I could not bend at the waist or lift with anything heavy in my hands. Putting the kids to bed was humorous, I literally sat Thing 2 in the crib rather than wait and cuddle him to sleep. Thing 1 was so mad at me that I couldn't sit in his room and wait for him to fall asleep. I usually sit on the floor by the door while he falls asleep, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get back up!! I medicated myself with beer and Advil, which actually made me feel a little better. But I was really lucky I took the Advil. Because after two beers I almost took a stool softener and then when I did locate the Advil I almost took a double dose. Thank God, right!! It's okay. My trials should make you feel good about yourself as a person and a parent. At least now my back is feeling a little better.

Overall, I am really happy with this weekend. We ate well, had lots of playdates, and visited new places. A good time was had by all. Next weekend we pick up our Lewis-Waite Farm Meat and the last Winter CSA share!! I can't wait to see what we could possibly get during hungry month.

Sad, Sad Winter Market

Even though we have been gripped with ice and snow, New York City manages to trudge through. Public transportation groans but still runs. Shops open and the public buys. I don't know what I'll do when my kids are older and are in school full time. The NYC public school system does shut down a couple times a year, but my office? Never. And the corporate expectation is that you make it to work. So I guess if I couldn't take off or DH couldn't stay home they will come to work with me. Snow days don't stop a New Yorker.

Last week we got 19 inches of snow in one long day. Only some of that was cleared before we got the freezing rain this week. It snowed and rained ice for two days this week and not all the big black piles of last weeks snow have a smooth shiny coating of ice on them. These piles are gonna be here until April I swear it. I can't decide what I want gone first, the mounds of dirty snow or all the garbage that hasn't been picked up.

The winter greatly diminishes the Greenmarket. And Green isn't really the right word. There ain't nothing green being sold now. Well, I should take that back, there are a couple of greenhouses. But February really is a hungry month covered in ice and arctic swirls. Though on a hopeful note, I left work last week and it was still light outside at 5PM.

This week at the Union Square Farmer's Market I saw apples and eggs and cider and some turnips and rutabagas. That was it. Oh, and some cookies. But I wasn't really going to count them. That was Wednesday. Likely their Friday or Saturday offering will be better, but nothing like the high season. I believe I see 6 or 7 stalls in these two pictures. In the summertime the vendors will be packed in all the way from Union Square West to Fourth Avenue and 17th street all the way to 15th street. But it is quiet and wet in the winter.

Oh how I long for the days flat strappy sandals, long jersey dresses and sunglasses. I dream in tomatoes and peaches and eggplants. If I am quiet enough I swear I can hear the surf roll in at Hither Hills. Soon, soon. Until then, eggs and rutabagas and snow. I will keep walking in the park searching for that first crocus flower poking up through the crunchy iced over snow.

A Call from the Doctor

A few weeks ago I took Thing 1 to the doctor. Our babysitter swore to me that he was having stomach troubles, complaining about hi tummy hurting and laying down on the floor. Never mind that when I asked him about it he would deny the whole thing. Or that he never displays that kind of behavior with us on the weekends. My concern was that he was acting out for her. He is at an age where lying is a seductive cocktail. But, I had to take it seriously because our trusted babysitter has been saying this on and off for a while now. And although we have never had any other health issues with Thing 1, I can't just ignore it.

So our pediatrician recommended a group of blood tests, including a basic allergy work up. She also had us keep a thorough record of Thing 1's diet in case it was allergy related. I must say I was proud to hear that she felt that his diet was very good. (Yay!! I am such a nerd.) But she did feel his tummy and thought he had some gas. She did say that we eat more fiber than the average person and that could contribute to gas. And we all felt that that may be the reason for him complaining of stomach pains. The doctor also suggested that we not give him milk before lunchtime.

So for the last couple of weeks it has been no dairy in the morning. He cries for milk everyday, but it has gotten a little better. And he has complained of tummy aches less. I think the milk is definitely part of it. And to clarify, even though I love where we get our milk from, Thing 1 was only getting about 3-4 ounces of milk every day with his meals, only 10-12 ounces a day! My kids have always loved milk so much that overloading them with such a foodlike beverage would surely mean no real food would be eaten. But with less milk, he is eating more food. Also, he is a little more regular. I hate to embarrass him, since it is likely that he will read these posts at some point in his life. But Thing 1 has struggled with being a little overly regular. Reducing the dairy has helped him to feel a little more normal.

But then finally, the doctor called and told me the results of all that blood work. She had his liver, kidney and other organ functions checked. All is good. She checked for general infections, all was good. Lead levels were right where they should be (kids in my neighborhood tend to have higher lead levels, it is thought because the buildings are older and possibly not kept up as well). And the allergies, milk, wheat, eggs, peanuts, etc all came back negative. Which she said could happen because the blood work tests for allergy, not sensitivity. He could still have a sensitivity and some minor reaction without having a full blown allergy. Hence the recommendation to limit the milk.

And finally she told me that she had his Vitamin D levels checked. And she said that his level was very good, one of the highest that she has seen at 35 ng/ml (almost 90 nmol/L). I was thrilled to hear that. Because you know that Vitamin D is a big deal. It is an important vitamin in keeping healthy against the common winter viruses, but also at warding off larger inflammations like cancer. I don't give my kids vitamins. Our expensive grass-fed-organic-low-temperature-pasteurization-non-homogenized-whole milk (sorry, it sounds pretentious when I say it, but it looks even more pretentious written out) does not have added D3. And now that it is cold outside, they aren't spending alot of time in the sun.

So how are we getting Vitamin D? It has to be all the grass fed meat (and the long, complicated and expensive sounding milk is grass fed too). We might not be outside, but the cows are, so their meat and milk have it. And because we eat a diet rich in healthy fats both saturated and unsaturated, I know we are able to better absorb the D that we get. Grass-Fed makes a difference. The animals are healthier, and so are we for embracing it.

This post is entered in Food Renegade's Fight Back Friday

Cop-Out Wednesday: Taco Bell Fights Back

(I changed the name of the post, because the whole 'public doesn't care' bit sounded like the public was furious. When actually, they are still happily ingesting Taco Bell's lousy fare. Sorry if your RSS feed doesn't pick up the change.)

I took a very interesting class my last year in college. It was all about the Boxer Rebellion, which you may or may not know was an uprising in China by Nationalist leaning Chinese against both Western politics and Western spheres of influence but also against Westerners living in China at the time. But the class wasn't just about the history of the Boxer Rebellion. It was really about how to study the Boxer Rebellion. It was a close look at the reports of how different newspapers across the globe covered one incident. We studied the difference between primary and secondary sources. It was a fascinating class. I don't remember a ton about the Boxer Rebellion, but I started to understand what a respectable source of news was and how to read through the lines in what to believe. I like to think that the sources that I bring to this blog are those that are trustworthy and largely unbiased. You can't believe everything on the Internet. But I also believe that some mainstream sources of news are slanted to the conventional thinking, both politically and nutritionally. Because you know I am concerned about food. So in answering my myriad questions, I must wade through alot of information to get an unbiased story that is also full of facts.

That being said, I have read several different reports about this Taco Bell Scandal. Some more opinion based blogs I read were outraged because the lawsuit seemed frivolous. Other blogs (like mine) were outraged because they felt that the lack of beef in the beef was disgusting, a nutritional outrage. But major newspapers stuck to the fact in the original story, however in this second wave, the story is really about Taco Bell and how it has come out shining by drowning the marketplace in ads. I have seen them everywhere on the television. These stories sound to me like they were almost planted by the company itself. And it is likely that the Yum Industries PR team has been working 18 hour days for the last 10 days or so.

Taco Bell alleges that it's ground beef is 88% beef, and that the remaining 12% is water, spices, and some filler like oats and wheat. That is actually more in line with what I assumed, since I haven't eaten the stuff in 10 years or so. Still, I have to point out that neither the Alabama law firm nor Taco Bell itself have published proof of whether the ground beef is 35% beef or 88% beef. And this Mama does not go by word of mouth. I may not be from Missouri, but my Dad is-so I need proof. Show me.

I guess we will just have to wait to read about the court case. In the meantime, eat real food. It tastes better.

Taco Bell's Official Statement: Of Course We Use Real Beef

Taco Bell's Website: Taco Bell Official Ingredient List Apparently The 'Oats and Wheat" contribute to the seasoning part of the 'Seasoned Ground Beef', who knew? It sounds more like filler to me. Also, check out how many ingredients 'Steak" has.

New York Post: Taco Bell Fights Back on Beef Lawsuit With Ad Push


USA Today: Taco Bell Fights Beef Charges With Truth Ads, May Countersue This was one of the few articles I read that mentioned that the brand might file a suit of it's own.

Squidoo.com: Got a Beef with Taco Bell's 'Beef' Taco Filling?

Gizmodo.com: This is What Really Hides Inside Taco Bell's Beef This site gives the USDA definition of Ground Beef

Shepard's Pie

Shepard's Pie is probably not a proper title for this dish as 'shepard' implies sheep, and my dish had no lamb or mutton in it. But I do think that the basic idea of a gravy rich meat and veggie pie topped with mashed tubers is a good one. Be it lamb or beef or pork and any of those made into a loose sausage, it is a good comforting meal. I am not sure this is a good weeknight meal on my schedule. I made it Saturday and it took about an hour to get right.

First let me say that I have made several really bad Shepard Pies in my day. Either the seasonings weren't right, or they were too runny and not viscous enough. There is a perfect balance that must be met in the gravy to meat ratio. And often my potatoes are not soft enough, and they dry out when I would bake the pie. But at least once a year I would come back to it and try all over again. After this weekend it might show up a little more often.

If you have ever ordered Shepard's Pie at a proper pub it is usually a slightly runny mess of ground beef with a couple of frozen cubed carrots covered with really buttery mashed white potatoes. But it is possible to make this comfort classic a little more nutritious. And lastly, the idea to top the meat with sweet potatoes or yams came from our dear friends in Morocco who made this for us the first very jetlagged day we arrived last November.

SHEPARD'S PIE
1 pound of ground meat, beef, lamb, turkey, pork or any kind of sausage will do (I used a half a pound of ground beef and a half a pound of turkey sausage)

About a cup to a cup and a half of veggies, I used fresh carrots and frozen peas and corn

Sweet potatoes, I used one enormous one

Milk and Butter to make the mashed potatoes
1 cup Water for the gravy
Worcestershire sauce
Arrowroot Powder

First, put on the sweet potatoes to boil. Also set the oven to 350.

In a skillet with a lid, brown the meat. Add your veggies, water or stock and Worcestershire and cover until the carrots are cooked through. Adjust your seasonings with salt and pepper or more Worcestershire. Sprinkle in a little arrowroot powder and see how thick it gets. Add a little more until the gravy gets to the thickness you like.

Make the mashed sweet potatoes with the milk and butter (or no milk to make it lactose free). Then take the meat mix and place it into an oven safe dish. Top with the Sweet Potatoes and bake. I suppose you don't really NEED to bake it. You could just eat it as is. But something kind of magical happens in the oven. The gravy bubbles over into the sweet potatoes. The whole things kind of melds together.

The Things did NOT eat this meal. Thing 1 did not even take one bite. Thing 2 picked out the larger pieces of turkey sausage. But that was it. I think it was because it was a new dish. Perhaps next time it won't be so foreign. But DH sat up and begged. He was thrilled. A real pub meal at home? Very comforting in the cold weather.