Anatomy of a Weeknight

This post is for anyone who has ever wondered what that awful noise is as they walked by our apartment door. This post is also for all my colleagues who feel jealous that I leave the office earlier than they do. (PS-I also come into the office an hour earlier than they do.) And this post is for anyone who thinks we are crazy for taking on cooking every night on top of everything else we do…This is what I do, every night. (Uuuhh, insert different food for each night though….)

· 5:10 PM-S#!t! It is time for me to walk out of the office!
· 5:20 PM-Train is supposed to arrive. It doesn’t.
· 5:25 PM-Train arrives. I pack on.
· 5:58 PM-Get off train, walk home. Run into neighbors and friends, chat on the way home.
· 6:03 PM-I walk in the door. Thing 1 sneers, Thing 2 runs up to me calling ‘Nana!’ (Yes, he calls me Nana, not Mama, even though he is almost 2 years old. He says M’s, just not in reference to me).
· 6:07 PM-Baby sitter leaves, I turn on Wonder Pets. Big smiles from everyone including Mommy.
· 6:10 PM-Realize I forgot to defrost the ground beef.
· 6:12 PM-Run the beef under warm water.
· 6:15 PM-Chop broccoli. Get the pots and pans out to start frying the ground beef and boiling the broccoli. Put the water on for the broccoli.
· 6:18 PM-Change clothes. Oh yeah! I had to pee since before I left the office. Go to the bathroom.
· 6:20 PM-Take away the broom that Thing 2 has fished out of the closet and is now using to dust the coffee table. “Yuk, that’s dirty!”
· 6:21 PM-Heat up the pan to fry up hamburgers. Fill up the Thing’s water cups.
· 6:22 PM-Intervene between Thing 1 and Thing 2. “That’s ONE, don’t throw his toys, it isn’t nice”
· 6:23 PM-“That’s TWO!!!”
· 6:24 PM-Start frying the burgers, put the broccoli into the boiling water.
· 6:25 PM-Sit down with the kiddies to watch Moose and Zee. Cuddles, maybe a kiss or two.
· 6:30 PM- *Sniff Sniff* Oh Dear! Burgers are done!!
· 6:31 PM-Microwave the leftover brown rice.
· 6:32 PM-Plates on the table. “I am turning off the TV! No, we are not watching TV tonight during dinner….We are going to talk about our day…Yes, we have to.”
· 6:38 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:39 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:39 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat again.
· 6:40 PM-Pick up Thing 2’s thrown meat.
· 6:42 PM-Bribe Thing 1, if he eats 4 more bites of meat, he can have some watermelon after dinner. Thing 1 finishes all his meat, which is way more than the four bites I asked him to eat.
· 6:55 PM-Thing 1 gets his watermelon. Thing 2 cries because he wants some too. But seeing as how he has eaten nothing all day but apples, strawberries, a banana milk and toast (maybe some egg for breakfast), I have a hard time giving him MORE fruit.
· 7:00 PM-Clean Up Time!!
· 7:15 PM-Bath Time!!
· 7:17 PM-Thing 1 shoots Thing 2 in the face with a water gun. Mommy confiscates it.
· 7:25 PM-Screaming bloody murder, oh Lordy it’s a hair washing night.
· 7:30 PM-Daddy’s home from work! Hallelujah! Tooth brush time!
· 7:35 PM-Kids are dried off and in PJs.
· 7:40 PM-Book reading time. Thing 1 listens while Thing 2 runs around unloading toys that were previously put away.
· 7:55 PM-Kisses all around, maybe some screaming in protest. Daddy piles everyone in bed.
· 8:00 PM- Mommy cracks that bottle of white wine that has been talking to her since she walked in the door.